The funeral for Nick is next Friday. In the morning. Thankfully, I leave for regionals at 3 or so.
It’ll be at our church and he’s being buried in our secret meadow we found while riding when we were 10. We went there all the time and we built a little corral and lean to, with his brother and fathers help, and would go there and read, talk play, do homework, whatever.
It was our favorite spot. There’s a small stream and little waterfall. A big weeping willow and pines, oak, maple and just tons of trees all around. Some wild berry bushes, strawberry, raspberry, black berry grew there.
We would go there to get away and vent, to just calm down and recollect ourselves.
He’ll be laid down next to our reading tree, the willow. We would climb her, read in the tree, we built “chairs” up there to sit in. We carved our names in the trunk.
They want me to speak and sing, I think I’m going to sing “Over you” by Miranda Lambert. But I might just sing the song he sung to me.
Two weeks from yesterday, we rode to our meadow, he was feeling a little better. We laid in the grass while the horses grazed nearby. He said “never forget me, just promise never forget me” I told him that I wouldn’t never ever forget him, ever, even if I lose my memory I will make sure someone makes me remember you. I couldn’t stay together any longer and balled, I just curled into a ball and he held me while I wept, I could feel his tears too.
He started to hum to me a familiar tune.
“(Chorus)Hush little angel don’t you cry, I’m gonna sing you a lullaby, and if that lullaby don’t work I’m gonna sing you another verse.
Even if I’m not right there, even if you can’t see me, I’ll always be there in your heart, forever and for always.
Even if I’m not right there even if you can’t hear me, I’m always right there in your heart, forever and for always.
Even if I’m not right there even if you can’t feel me, I’m always right there in your heart, forever and for always.
So hush little angel don’t you cry now I’ve sung your your lullaby, so close your eyes and know that’s I love you.”
It was what we sang to each other when we were sad. We made it up together.